I don’t ordinarily go into much in the way of personal detail here; frankly, it’s no one else’s business and mostly too crushingly mundane and boring to anyone not required to slog through it. Then there are days like today …
Pushing hard on 4am this morning, it having been several years since the last time I tried, I typed in my son’s name on my Facebook page search engine … and this time he had a Facebook page of his own to discover. When I finally rolled out of bed shortly after the crack of noon (hey! I work the evening shift; gimme a break) and fired up the computer, there amongst the usual spam was a Facebook “Friend” confirmation from him.
I keep reading how Mark Zuckerberg can be an asshole and such, but he has my thanks all the same.
I confess I don’t quite know what to do with the car now that I finally caught the bumper, so to speak. Duncan has his own life and family in which I have no place; I think it would be rude and boorish of me to assume anything about how he and I might accommodate each other in our lives now, I only know I so very much want to do so.
As a beginning, I am writing this post as a means for he and I to re-discover each other that isn’t constrained in the same fashion as Facebook is (which I don’t use other than as an easy means to keep up with my daughter and her family’s doings anyway). He isn’t the little boy I remember (he has a daughter of his own now) and I’m not the (same type of) fool who wandered away from him either. Finding out who we each are and where and how we can fit together again is all unknown yet, but this is what classical strategy is really for – advancing position into the unknown in mutually reinforcing and beneficial ways.
Mostly I don’t spontaneously break out in tears though.
You deservedly call another man “Dad” son, but I hope one day to have the opportunity to introduce you to the rest of your family and see where we all go from there.